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What’s Your Snack-Food Horoscope?

31 January 2014 No Comment

With so many options for stuffing your piehole between meals, how in the world are you expected to make the right decision? Just look to the stars for your answer, that’s how.

Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)

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You heavily value your friends — I mean, the water bearer literally represents the community of mankind. You are a humanitarian, and you just want to make the world a better place. What are you waiting for? Go and get your friendly little mitts on a family-sized container of hummus and a giant bag of pita chips and share it with your pals. Actually, make that two containers — you know you’ll be too indecisive to settle on just one flavor.

Silvia Jansen/Silvia Jansen

Pisces (Feb. 20 – March 20)

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You're at your best when you're in or near the sea, and you're drawn to oceanic colors like blue and green. So why not snack away your troubles with the help of some umami-rich, crunchy seaweed snacks? You're more prone to stomach issues than any other sign of the zodiac, and seaweed is thought to help with digestion issues like like bloating, nausea, and gas. Seaweed snacks: healthy and erasing the crippling fear of flatulence one bite at a time. Sign me up.

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

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Always fun to be around, you approach everything in life with a sense of childlike wonder. Tap into those carefree, innocent times with a package of Dunkaroos — they've been discontinued, but you can still find them on eBay and Amazon. You love an adrenaline rush, so scoring one of these rare gems will be a true thrill. (All sold out? Get your fun-loving little paws on a pack of Handi-Snacks.)

Via pinterest.com

Taurus (April 21 – May 21)

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You're known for your determination and everyday razor-sharp focus. You are practical and reliable, just like tiny Chick-o-Sticks that fit conveniently in your purse or pocket without crumbling into bits. You can buy bite-sized nuggets of Butterfinger's cool (and vegan) older cousin here, or at your local candy store, probably. Keep up that focus by regulating your blood sugar with perfect little Chick-o-increments.

Via oldtimecandy.com

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